


This Idiot

by kitausu



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic, Drabble, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Secret Relationship, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 07:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2100231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitausu/pseuds/kitausu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Completely shameless Superfamily & Spideypool with a side of Tony and Steve find out that Peter is dating Wade</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Idiot

"

"Does this idiot ever shut up?” Tony groaned.

He and Steve just watched in horror as Deadpool cheerfully cut down every AIM henchman in his way, all the while babbling about chimmychangas and Spiderman’s ass and maybe something about eating a chimmychanga out of Spiderman’s ass but Steve didn’t want to know. 

Deadpool giggled as he landed at their feet ten minutes later.

”And THAT’S how you unalive everyone!” Acting like a professor of the world’s most morbid undergraduate class. 

"Um, great. Thanks…Deadpool." Steve tried his best Captain America smile but it fell a little flat as AIM bloody goo dripped down from his cowl into his eyes. 

"Thanks O-Capy-tan!" Deadpool saluted happily, splattering more blood on Steve’s uniform and across Tony’s face plate. 

"Yeah, great, go away." Iron Man groaned in disgust, wiping ineffectively at his armor. 

When they got home Tony was still grumbling about trying to get blood out of Steve’s uniform, because it always takes forever and doesn’t that idiot know that blood is impossible to get out?

"Tony, it isn’t like you clean my uniform anyway." Steve laughed as he ruffled his husband’s hair before going into their bedroom to change. 

Steve scoffed, “It’s the principle of the thing Steve!”

Steve just kept smiling as he walked backwards through the door, “You gonna come help me get this off or what?”

x

"Hey Petey, what’s shakin?" Wade eyed his boyfriend’s spandex covered ass hungrily from where he lounged on his bed. 

Peter just rolled his eyes and flopped full body on top of Wade with a thump. 

"Aw, bad day at superhero school?" Wade cooed into his hair. 

"It’s not superhero school, it’s high school, and yes." Peter mumbled into Wade’s shoulder, arching shamelessly into the other’s touch as large hands stroked long lines down his back. 

"What happened stud muffin?"

Peter ignored the stupid pet name in favor of burying his face more firmly against Wade’s chest.

"Flash is just a huge asshole, nothing new.

"Do you want me to unalive him for you pumpkin butt?"

Peter propped himself up on Wade’s chest and laughed, “Pumpkin butt?”

"Yeah, cuz pumpkins are cute, just like your butt." Wade grinned, all teeth as he grabbed Peter’s ass for emphasis. 

"Makes sense." He laughed against Wade’s lips. 

x

Tony was in a good mood, a really good mood, the kind of good mood that only Steve’s cock could bring. 

"Tony, you’re being ridiculous." Steve smiled helplessly as he watched his husband shimmy around the kitchen. 

Tony stuck his tongue out teasingly, “Nah, I’m just married to a ridiculously good looking man.” 

"And now I’m going to go upstairs and get our charming son so he can have dinner with his two ridiculously good looking parents." 

"Sir, you may not want to go upstairs at the moment." JARVIS hedged, and it still amazed Steve a little that an AI could hedge. 

"And why not? Is our Petey having alone time or something?" Tony grinned cheekily at Steve. 

"Or something. Master Parker is definitely not alone though." JARVIS replied dryly. 

"Mr. Wilson is currently in the room as well."

"Your turn Steve." Tony gestured to the elevator magnanimously. 

They had decided when Peter was still a baby that they would always alternate who did the punishing so no one would have to be the bad guy. Which worked out great, except Tony took way too much joy out of having to watch Captain America tell someone to pick their underwear up off the bathroom floor for the 100th time or in this instance to stop having underage sex in his room. 

Tony followed eagerly as Steve stood awkwardly outside Peter’s closed door. 

"Son? JARVIS says Wade is in there, could you both come out?" Steve’s face was bright red as Tony tried unsuccessfully to suppress a laugh behind his hands. 

"UH, yeah Pops, sure. Be down in a, damn it Wade, be down in a minute!”

"Now Peter." Steve called, his voice cracking a little. 

This was the first time they were going to have to address this and they hadn’t even met Wade. Though admittedly seeing Wade’s scarred torso first wasn’t exactly the way Steve and Tony wanted to meet their son’s boyfriend. 

"Wade?" Tony asked, disbelief coloring his voice because Peter had called him unconventionally beautiful but this was different. 

"Tony." Steve hissed, and it was a testament to how long they had been married when Steve could read his tone in only a word. 

"Hey Mr. Stark, Mr. Rogers! How’s it hangin? Been keepin the ol’ supervillains behind bars? Flexin them muscles for the cameras?" Wade winked broadly as Peter frantically tried to cover his mouth with his hands. 

Neither Tony or Steve replied. They knew that voice. Had heard that voice earlier today from the lips of a lunatic behind a blood soaked mask. 

"Deadpool? You’re dating Deadpool? Peter!” Tony groaned, exasperated and momentarily regretting his 20 years sober because his son is dating Deadpool and wow could he use a drink, or maybe just a swift kick to the head. 

Even Steve was stumped for something nice to say about the situation, and this was Steve they were talking about. 

Deadpool, no Wade, just grinned happily before suddenly giving Peter a kiss and hoping out the window. 

"Did he just…?"

Peter grinned sheepishly, “Yeah he does that sometimes, usually when he gets hungry. Um…surprise?”

"You are so grounded. For a long time, like forever."


End file.
